Diary Entry August 2011,
This is a love story of sorts. A free-will giving. It is the story of a man who sold his car to commute 2 hours to work, each way, walking over the river and through the woods (literally), and catching 2 trains, to pay for fertility treatments. It is the story of a woman who drove to another state (before the workday began), and gave enough blood to support hundreds of NIH studies. It is a story of joy and forgiveness, for and of ourselves. The kind that keeps on giving.
I have verbally retold my story hundreds of times. I believe in good karma. And paying it forward. Yes, I know, a behavior analyst who believes in karma. But, it’s true. You just never know who your story is going to reach or impact. You would have never guessed that the road to our daughter included a few scraps of paper I printed off the internet that contained a couple possible treatment plans from people I had never met. You would never have guessed that a doctor would piece together the parts of my paper scraps and throw out a Hail Mary. A Hail Mary that resulted in our daughter.
And since then, I’ve been paying it forward. There isn’t a person that I forget to respond to, or a question that isn’t answered with brutal honesty. The more I pay it forward, the more I receive back. It’s been a truly rewarding experience. I am humbled every day at the kindness of others.
I think one of the biggest challenges of infertility is the enormous amount of costs people owe. Nobody likes to pay for healthcare. And every time I see an ad for coverage for ED I throw up a little. But few insurance companies will cover correcting a hormonal disorder, achieving or maintaining an early pregnancy. A wise person once told me she made it through the cost of treatments by thinking of it as an investment. You are investing in your future. And what a return on your investment it is!
I’ve met so many people on my journey that have gone through different means to grow their family. That may include a greater financial commitment and lots of paperwork or an acceptance that only comes with a lot of soul-searching I can assure you. I don’t see myself as a survivor but rather an advocate. I appreciate things in a different way. I am a little more compassionate. Always knowing that God has graced us with his extraordinary presence.
Good karma to some degree has brought us the success we’ve had so far. Conan O’Brien has summed it up nicely:
“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get.
But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.
I’m telling you, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, it’s just true!”
*Picture credits: Personal Photo: Cherry Blossoms April 2012